In total, I wrote three different drafts of the screenplay, acting on feedback from other members of the group, but the final copy reads as follows:
SIMON SAYS
EXT. THE PARK - DAY
SIMON is sat under a tree in the park. He is holding a small
notebook and pen. It is apparent that he is attempting to
write something he finds difficult.
Simon chews on the pen and frowns at the open page in his
notebook. He is not impressed with what he has written.
SIMON
(With gusto)
Hattie, you are the hat I never
want to take off.
He stares at the page for a moment, before furiously
scribbling through what he has read.
SIMON
(Muttering)
No, that's shit.
Simon flips through a couple of pages in his notebook. It is
clear he has been working on this for some time.
SIMON
(Reading)
Your eyes sparkle like the milky
way, I could stare into them all
night and day.
Simon pauses for a moment to consider this line.
SIMON
(Shaking head)
Definitely not.
He flips through a few more pages, stopping to read extracts
from his scribbled notes.
SIMON
With hair like a scented garden
of.. wild plants? ..You're perfect
because.. you always.. let me
finish the popcorn?
Simon shakes his head in frustration and flicks to a clean
page in his notebook.
SIMON
(Writing while speaking)
Hattie, you keep my soul as warm as
my head... If you weren't around
I'd wish I was dead...
He finishes writing this down, then looks contemplatively
across the park, chewing his pen.
SIMON
You like watching scary movies late
at night in the dark... Sometimes
when I look at you I think you'd
make a very pretty shark.
Simon reflects on this for a moment. He stares at the page
in his notebook. He then calmly closes the notebook, tucks
the pen into the spine, and holds it for a moment.
SIMON
Oh, screw this.
He throws the notebook violently across the park and drops
back into the grass in frustration. He slips his headphones
into his ears - music starts to play and he closes his eyes,
losing himself in his imagination.
FADE TO
EXT. THE PARK - DAY (DREAM SEQUENCE)
We open on a soft-focus, fuzzy, bright close-up of Hattie
smiling (this is Simon's POV). We swap to Hattie's POV,
revealing Simon smiling shyly back at her.
Suddenly Hattie turns and runs out of frame. Simon quickly
starts after her.
SIMON
(Internal and muffled)
Hattie! Wait..!
Simon follows her across the park. She keeps slipping away
from him, but continuously stops to let him catch up. She
skips behind a bush, and crouches down in the dirt.
Simon follows her behind the bush, and crouches down next to
her. He peers at her quizzically.
SIMON
What are we..?
HATTIE
Shhh!
Hattie slowly raises a finger to Simon's lips. She pauses,
giggles, and removing her hand, slowly leans forward as if
to kiss him.
FADE TO
EXT. THE PARK - DAY
We fade from the dream sequence onto a close-up shot of
Simon, who is still dreaming about kissing Hattie. His lips
move as if kissing her, until he opens his eyes and realises
what he is doing. He slowly takes out his headphones, stares
up at the sky thoughtfully, and then suddenly jumps up out
of shot.
EXT. THE PARK - DAY
Simon is holding a large, expensive-looking bunch of TULIPS.
He admires them for a moment, nods, and dials HATTIE on his
mobile phone.
HATTIE
(On phone)
Yeah hello?
SIMON
(Still smiling at his tulips)
Hi Hattie. Are we still on for
later?
Hattie's nose is red and she is sniffling.
HATTIE
Oh, hey Simon! Yeah, of course.
Four thirty, right? (She blows her
nose)
SIMON
(Looking pleased with himself)
That's right, yeah.. Hey, you don't
sound too great. Are you okay?
HATTIE
Oh, I've just got hayfever. It's
the time of year.. The tulips have
just bloomed, so I'm a snivelling
wreck. (Laughs)
Simon looks in horror at the tulips in his hand.
SIMON
That sounds like shit. Are you sure
you don't want to stay home?
HATTIE
(Brightly)
No, no, I'll be fine. I've got a
jumbo box of tissues. (She giggles)
I'll see you later Simon.
Hattie hangs up, leaving Simon staring at the tulips. After
a moment he walks to the nearest bin, dumps the tulips, and
leaves. As he walks away we see a price tag on the bunch of
flowers - it reads £14.99.
EXT. THE LAKE - DAY
Simon is walking through the park trying to come up with a
way to tell Hattie how he feels about her.
He stops and addresses an imaginary Hattie.
SIMON
(Gallantly)
Hattie, how would you like to be my
girlfriend?
He pauses to consider this, but shakes his head and
continues walking.
SIMON
Too formal.
Simon stops to address another imaginary Hattie.
SIMON
(Cheesily)
Hey Hattie, wanna come back to mine
and see what happens?
He shakes his head in mild horror and continues walking.
SIMON
Urgh, definitely not. Too creepy.
He kicks a stick into the lake, and stands there watching it
float away.
SIMON
(Quietly)
Hey, Hattie. Would you like to go
for a drink sometime, with me?
He nods to himself, satisfied, and walks away to meet
Hattie.
EXT. THE PARK - LATE AFTERNOON
Simon runs to catch up with the red-nosed Hattie. He is
panting slightly when he reaches her.
SIMON
(Red-faced but grinning)
Hattie! Hi. Hey.
He punches her awkwardly on the shoulder, but regrets it
immediately. She looks at him, bemused, rubbing her nose
with a tissue.
SIMON
So.. how are you?
HATTIE
Not bad, besides the hayfever.
She gives him a quick smile and then scans slowly across the
park. There is an awkward silence.
HATTIE
Uh.. So.. How's your goldfish?
SIMON
(Quickly)
Kevin.
HATTIE
Yeah, Kevin. How's Kevin?
Hattie's PHONE buzzes in her hand. We hear a text message
tone.
SIMON
Kevin's fine, yeah.
Hattie nods distractedly as she reads her message.
HATTIE
Ok, great. Listen, Simon, I'm gonna
have to go, I'm sorry. Laura just
got off work early.
SIMON
(Confused)
Laura?
HATTIE
Yeah, you know Laura, right? It's
silly really, but it's a year today
since we went on our first date.
(She giggles) I can hardly believe
she's been my girlfriend for that
long!
Hattie smiles up at Simon brightly and then peers past him,
looking for Laura.
SIMON
..Y-... Your girlfriend?
HATTIE
(Still on the lookout for
Laura)
She said she'd be along any minute.
Although, that doesn't mean much
from her, I mean one time I was sat
waiting for her for an hour and all
she had to say for herself was that
her cat had got stuck in the
bathroom, I was like, what kind of
excuse is that...
Hattie's voice fades out, and we see Simon's face drop as he
realises the girl of his dreams is out of his reach. Tears
well at his eyes, but Hattie doesn't notice.
HATTIE
(Sees Laura in the distance)
There she is! Well I've gotta go,
Simon, I'll see you some other time
okay.
Hattie walks away before she has even finished her sentence,
leaving Simon standing alone with tears in his eyes. He rubs
his eye with a sleeve, and as he does so, a pretty girl
walks past him down the path.
Simon's attention is captured by the girl. In beautiful
slow-motion, we see her flick her hair over her shoulder,
smile back at Simon, and continue walking.
Simon grins, and follows her down the path.
Wednesday, 9 May 2012
Wednesday, 18 April 2012
Screenplay feedback
After sharing the screenplay with the other members of my group, a number of points were raised:
- Addition of 1 or 2 extra scenes, to ensure the film reaches the 5-minute mark
- Changing HATTIE's character to make her warmer towards Simon, so the audience thinks he has more of a chance with her
- Shortening of the first scene to keep the pace satisfactory.
Other than these points, overall we were very happy with the screenplay so far.
Other issues brought up during the meeting were:
- Locations - use of Endecliffe Park as primary location?
- Weather - hope for sun while filming, but have to film in rain otherwise
- Sound - recording sync sound, with the possibility of dubbing/foley if needed
- Kit - have 3 DSLRs available, it would be nice to make use of a 2 or even 3 camera set-up
- Actors - using our contacts we have people in mind for the characters.
Screenplay Draft 1 (Working title - Simon Says)
EXT. THE PARK - DAY
SIMON is sat under a tree in the park. He is holding a small
notebook and pen. It is apparent that he is attempting to
write something he finds difficult.
Simon chews on the pen and frowns at the open page in his
notebook. He is not impressed with what he has written.
SIMON
(With gusto)
Hattie, you are the hat I never
want to take off.
He stares at the page for a moment, before furiously
scribbling through what he has read.
SIMON
(Muttering)
No, that's shit.
Simon flips through a couple of pages in his notebook. It is
clear he has been working on this for some time.
SIMON
(Reading)
Your eyes sparkle like the milky
way, I could stare into them all
night and day.
Simon pauses for a moment to consider this line.
SIMON
(Shaking head)
Definitely not.
He flips through a few more pages, stopping to read extracts
from his scribbled notes.
SIMON
With hair like a scented garden
of.. wild plants? ..You're perfect
because.. you always.. let me
finish the popcorn?
Simon shakes his head in frustration and flicks to a clean
page in his notebook.
SIMON
(Writing while speaking)
Hattie, you keep my soul as warm as
my head... If you weren't around
I'd wish I was dead...
He finishes writing this down, then looks contemplatively
across the park, chewing his pen.
SIMON
You like watching scary movies late
at night in the dark... Sometimes
when I look at you I think you'd
make a very pretty shark.
Simon reflects on this for a moment. He stares at the page
in his notebook. He then calmly closes the notebook, tucks
the pen into the spine, and holds it for a moment.
SIMON
Oh, screw this.
He throws the notebook violently across the park and drops
back into the grass in frustration.
EXT. THE PARK - DAY
Simon is holding a large, expensive-looking bunch of TULIPS.
He admires them for a moment, nods, and dials HATTIE on his
mobile phone.
HATTIE
(On phone)
Yeah hello?
SIMON
(Still smiling at his tulips)
Hi Hattie. Are we still on for
later?
Simon is far more interested in the phone call than Hattie,
who is picking at her fingernails.
HATTIE
What? Oh, um, yeah sure. Four
thirty, right?
SIMON
(Looking pleased with himself)
Cool. Oh and by the way, Hattie?
HATTIE
(Still disinterested)
Yeah?
SIMON
What are your favourite flowers?
Just out of interest?
Hattie examines her fingernails while she thinks.
HATTIE
Er, anything really. Except tulips.
I hate tulips. See ya later.
Hattie hangs up, leaving Simon staring at the tulips. After
a moment he walks to the nearest bin, dumps the tulips, and
leaves. As he walks away we see a price tag on the bunch of
flowers - it reads £14.99.
EXT. THE LAKE - DAY
Simon is walking through the park trying to come up with a
way to tell Hattie how he feels about her.
He stops and addresses an imaginary Hattie.
SIMON
(Gallantly)
Hattie, how would you like to be my
girlfriend?
He pauses to consider this, but shakes his head and
continues walking.
SIMON
Too formal.
Simon stops to address another imaginary Hattie.
SIMON
(Cheesily)
Hey Hattie, wanna come back to mine
and see what happens?
He shakes his head in mild horror and continues walking.
SIMON
Urgh, definitely not. Too creepy.
He kicks a stick into the lake, and stands there watching it
float away.
SIMON
(Quietly)
Hey, Hattie. Would you like to go
for a drink sometime, with me?
He nods to himself, satisfied, and walks away to meet
Hattie.
EXT. THE PARK - LATE AFTERNOON
Simon runs to catch up with Hattie. He is panting slightly
when he reaches her.
SIMON
(Red-faced but grinning)
Hattie! Hi. Hey.
He punches her awkwardly on the shoulder, but regrets it
immediately. She looks at him with barely contained disgust.
SIMON
So.. how are you?
HATTIE
(Rolling eyes)
Yeah, yeah I'm fine.
We notice that she doesn't ask him how he is. In fact, she
doesn't seem interested in conversation with him at all.
There is an awkward silence, as he looks at her brightly and
she takes a slow glance across the park.
HATTIE
So.. Simon... Why did you want me
to meet you again?
SIMON
Well.. erm, I just had something to
tell you, that's all.
Hattie seems impatient. She keeps checking her phone.
HATTIE
And you couldn't tell me over the
phone because...?
SIMON
(Falters)
Well.. I guess.. it's such a nice
day..
Simon gestures around the park, but Hattie is unconvinced.
She puts her phone back in her pocket.
HATTIE
Well you better tell me soon, I've
got to go and meet Greg in a
minute.
SIMON
(Confused)
Greg?
HATTIE
Yeah, you know Greg, my boyfriend?
Hattie peers past Simon, looking for Greg.
SIMON
..Y-... Your boyfriend?
HATTIE
(Still on the lookout for
Greg)
He said he's be along any minute.
Although, that doesn't mean much
from him, I mean one time I was sat
waiting for him for an hour and all
he had to say for himself was that
his cat had got stuck in the
bathroom, I was like, what kind of
excuse is that...
Hattie's voice fades out, and we see Simon's face drop as he
realises the girl of his dreams is out of his reach. Tears
well at his eyes, but Hattie doesn't notice - she doesn't
care.
HATTIE
(Sees Greg in the distance)
There he is! Well I've gotta go,
Simon, I'll see you some other time
okay.
Hattie walks away before she has even finished her sentence,
leaving Simon standing alone with tears in his eyes. He rubs
his eye with a sleeve, and as he does so, a pretty girl
walks past him down the path.
Simon's attention is captured by the girl. In beautiful
slow-motion, we see her flick her hair over her shoulder,
smile back at Simon, and continue walking.
Simon grins, and follows her down the path.
SIMON is sat under a tree in the park. He is holding a small
notebook and pen. It is apparent that he is attempting to
write something he finds difficult.
Simon chews on the pen and frowns at the open page in his
notebook. He is not impressed with what he has written.
SIMON
(With gusto)
Hattie, you are the hat I never
want to take off.
He stares at the page for a moment, before furiously
scribbling through what he has read.
SIMON
(Muttering)
No, that's shit.
Simon flips through a couple of pages in his notebook. It is
clear he has been working on this for some time.
SIMON
(Reading)
Your eyes sparkle like the milky
way, I could stare into them all
night and day.
Simon pauses for a moment to consider this line.
SIMON
(Shaking head)
Definitely not.
He flips through a few more pages, stopping to read extracts
from his scribbled notes.
SIMON
With hair like a scented garden
of.. wild plants? ..You're perfect
because.. you always.. let me
finish the popcorn?
Simon shakes his head in frustration and flicks to a clean
page in his notebook.
SIMON
(Writing while speaking)
Hattie, you keep my soul as warm as
my head... If you weren't around
I'd wish I was dead...
He finishes writing this down, then looks contemplatively
across the park, chewing his pen.
SIMON
You like watching scary movies late
at night in the dark... Sometimes
when I look at you I think you'd
make a very pretty shark.
Simon reflects on this for a moment. He stares at the page
in his notebook. He then calmly closes the notebook, tucks
the pen into the spine, and holds it for a moment.
SIMON
Oh, screw this.
He throws the notebook violently across the park and drops
back into the grass in frustration.
EXT. THE PARK - DAY
Simon is holding a large, expensive-looking bunch of TULIPS.
He admires them for a moment, nods, and dials HATTIE on his
mobile phone.
HATTIE
(On phone)
Yeah hello?
SIMON
(Still smiling at his tulips)
Hi Hattie. Are we still on for
later?
Simon is far more interested in the phone call than Hattie,
who is picking at her fingernails.
HATTIE
What? Oh, um, yeah sure. Four
thirty, right?
SIMON
(Looking pleased with himself)
Cool. Oh and by the way, Hattie?
HATTIE
(Still disinterested)
Yeah?
SIMON
What are your favourite flowers?
Just out of interest?
Hattie examines her fingernails while she thinks.
HATTIE
Er, anything really. Except tulips.
I hate tulips. See ya later.
Hattie hangs up, leaving Simon staring at the tulips. After
a moment he walks to the nearest bin, dumps the tulips, and
leaves. As he walks away we see a price tag on the bunch of
flowers - it reads £14.99.
EXT. THE LAKE - DAY
Simon is walking through the park trying to come up with a
way to tell Hattie how he feels about her.
He stops and addresses an imaginary Hattie.
SIMON
(Gallantly)
Hattie, how would you like to be my
girlfriend?
He pauses to consider this, but shakes his head and
continues walking.
SIMON
Too formal.
Simon stops to address another imaginary Hattie.
SIMON
(Cheesily)
Hey Hattie, wanna come back to mine
and see what happens?
He shakes his head in mild horror and continues walking.
SIMON
Urgh, definitely not. Too creepy.
He kicks a stick into the lake, and stands there watching it
float away.
SIMON
(Quietly)
Hey, Hattie. Would you like to go
for a drink sometime, with me?
He nods to himself, satisfied, and walks away to meet
Hattie.
EXT. THE PARK - LATE AFTERNOON
Simon runs to catch up with Hattie. He is panting slightly
when he reaches her.
SIMON
(Red-faced but grinning)
Hattie! Hi. Hey.
He punches her awkwardly on the shoulder, but regrets it
immediately. She looks at him with barely contained disgust.
SIMON
So.. how are you?
HATTIE
(Rolling eyes)
Yeah, yeah I'm fine.
We notice that she doesn't ask him how he is. In fact, she
doesn't seem interested in conversation with him at all.
There is an awkward silence, as he looks at her brightly and
she takes a slow glance across the park.
HATTIE
So.. Simon... Why did you want me
to meet you again?
SIMON
Well.. erm, I just had something to
tell you, that's all.
Hattie seems impatient. She keeps checking her phone.
HATTIE
And you couldn't tell me over the
phone because...?
SIMON
(Falters)
Well.. I guess.. it's such a nice
day..
Simon gestures around the park, but Hattie is unconvinced.
She puts her phone back in her pocket.
HATTIE
Well you better tell me soon, I've
got to go and meet Greg in a
minute.
SIMON
(Confused)
Greg?
HATTIE
Yeah, you know Greg, my boyfriend?
Hattie peers past Simon, looking for Greg.
SIMON
..Y-... Your boyfriend?
HATTIE
(Still on the lookout for
Greg)
He said he's be along any minute.
Although, that doesn't mean much
from him, I mean one time I was sat
waiting for him for an hour and all
he had to say for himself was that
his cat had got stuck in the
bathroom, I was like, what kind of
excuse is that...
Hattie's voice fades out, and we see Simon's face drop as he
realises the girl of his dreams is out of his reach. Tears
well at his eyes, but Hattie doesn't notice - she doesn't
care.
HATTIE
(Sees Greg in the distance)
There he is! Well I've gotta go,
Simon, I'll see you some other time
okay.
Hattie walks away before she has even finished her sentence,
leaving Simon standing alone with tears in his eyes. He rubs
his eye with a sleeve, and as he does so, a pretty girl
walks past him down the path.
Simon's attention is captured by the girl. In beautiful
slow-motion, we see her flick her hair over her shoulder,
smile back at Simon, and continue walking.
Simon grins, and follows her down the path.
Character Development - Simon Green
CHARACTER NAME: Simon Green
AGE: 22
GENERAL DESCRIPTION: Clumsy, well-meaning Simon can’t seem to find the right girl for him, but is it something to do with his overenthusiastic romantic gestures?
- What do you know about this character now that s/he doesn’t yet know? Hattie, who he thinks is his girlfriend, and who he plans to propose to, isn’t his girlfriend at all.
- What is this character’s greatest flaw? Serial hopeless romantic. Freaks girls out with what comes across as weird, obsessive behaviour.
- What do you know about this character that s/he would never admit? Believes every girl he meets is “the one”, but forgets as soon as he meets another girl.
- What is this character’s greatest asset? Affectionate and caring to those around him.
- If this character could choose a different identity, who would s/he be? He kind of wishes he was James Bond, but in reality he’d be far too scared to do such a dangerous job.
- What music does this character sing to when no one else is around? The soundtracks from the Shrek movies are the most played songs on his iTunes.
- In what or whom does this character have the greatest faith? Cookie Crisp cereal.
- What is this character’s favourite movie? It’s a tie between Love Actually and The Notebook, but if his mates ask, it’s Saving Private Ryan.
- Does this character have a favourite article of clothing? Favourite shoes? He very rarely takes off his hat.
- Does this character have a vice? Name it. He drinks far too much coffee, so most of the time he’s buzzing with energy.
- Name this character’s favourite person (living or dead). Brian Badonde.
- What is this character’s secret wish? That he was shorter.
- What is this character’s proudest achievement? Finding all the golden eggs on Angry Birds.
- Describe this character’s most embarrassing moment. When he was 16, he called his headteacher “mum” during an awards ceremony in front of the whole school.
- What is this character’s deepest regret? He wishes he’d taken History A Level instead of French. He hated French, but his form tutor convinced him to study it.
- What is this character’s greatest fear? Pigeons.
- Describe this character’s most devastating moment. All the moments in which girls have rejected his advances. He soon becomes distracted by another girl though.
- What is this character’s greatest achievement? So far, none of the girls who have been the focus of his obsessive affection have ever slapped him.
- What is this character’s greatest hope? That his parents will get on – but he knows it won’t happen.
- Does this character have an obsession? Name it. Girls. Usually girls who don’t like him back.
- What is this character’s greatest disappointment? His cooking ability. The first thing he tried to cook in his new flat was instant noodles, and he burnt them.
- What is this character’s worst nightmare? Being dumped by a girl in front of all his mates.
- Whom does this character most wish to please? Why? The majority of the attractive female population, so he can find a pretty girl to show off to the world.
- Describe this character’s mother. Fiery-tempered, she spends a lot of time shouting at her husband. She runs her house like an angry tornado, but it’s always spotless.
- Describe this character’s father. A quiet, repressed, short man who tries to stay out of his wife’s way, he doesn’t talk to Simon often, just to ask him to pass the ketchup.
- If s/he had to choose, with whom would this character prefer to live? He lives on his own currently, and he likes it that way (although he wouldn’t say no to some company).
- Where does this character fall in birth order? What effect does this have? He is an only child, conceived out of wedlock, and the cause of his parents’ marriage. He serves as a constant reminder of their loveless marriage so they avoid him the majority of the time.
- Describe this character’s siblings or other close relatives. Simon’s best friend is his cousin, Alex. Alex is very shy though, so they usually just play Halo 3 together on his xbox while Simon’s auntie knocks on the door every five seconds to offer them more orange squash.
- Describe this character’s bedroom. Include three cherished items. He has a shoebox under his bed filled with romantic mementoes (like phone numbers scribbled on napkins and forgotten underpants) which he adds to frequently, a goldfish called Kevin who lives on his bedside table, and all the Desperate Housewives box sets (hidden in the bottom of his wardrobe).
- What is this character’s birth date? 3rd June 1989.
- If this character had to live in seclusion for six months, what six items would s/he bring? If you asked him, he would tell you “five girls and an 8th”, but in reality he really wouldn’t know what to do with five girls: he’d smoke the 8th, then sit in a corner and cry.
- Why is this character angry? His 32-inch flat screen TV blew up and he can’t afford a new one.
- What calms this character? Weed, and raspberry jelly.
- Describe a recurring dream or nightmare this character might have. He has a nightmare where he is an ice-cream man in a world where everyone is fatally allergic to ice-cream.
- List the choices (not circumstances) that led this character to his/her current predicament. He met Hattie at a party, and has been obsessing about her ever since.
- List the circumstances over which this character has no control. He hopes his landlord won’t find out he has Kevin the goldfish living in his flat.
- What wakes this character in the middle of the night? His next-door neighbours having extremely loud sexual intercourse to Barry White.
- How would a stranger describe this character? Full of energy, looks younger than he is, outgoing and friendly.
- What does this character resolve to do differently every morning? His hair, but he always ends up wearing his hat.
- Who depends on this character? Why? His neighbour from across the hall, Dave, is always borrowing his milk. Simon is sceptical as to whether Dave ever actually buys any milk.
- If this character knew s/he had exactly one month to live, what would s/he do? He’d like to think that he’d go clubbing every night to try and pick up as many girls as he can, but he’d probably spend most of it getting high in his room and watching nature documentaries.
- How would a dear friend or relative describe this character? What is this character’s most noticeable physical attribute? His cheeky smile, which never leaves his face.
- What is this character hiding from him/herself? He is secretly scared that he will never find the right girl to settle down with.
- Write one additional thing about your character. His favourite animal is a shark.
First production meeting
To begin with, we continued working on the idea we had discussed previously, but after a while, we decided to take a different approach.
Since we wanted to keep a light-hearted feel to the piece, and worried that 5 minutes following a man reciting an engagement speech would end up rather dull, we decided to change some major details of our idea.
Instead of the character's girlfriend being dead, she was now not his girlfriend - he merely wished/imagined her to be. The story would follow his attempts to make impressive romantic gestures towards her, but they kept going wrong. The film would end with her rejecting him, making him dreadfully upset until he saw another pretty girl to direct his advances towards.
I agreed to go home and draw up a screenplay draft, as well as a character development sheet.
Since we wanted to keep a light-hearted feel to the piece, and worried that 5 minutes following a man reciting an engagement speech would end up rather dull, we decided to change some major details of our idea.
Instead of the character's girlfriend being dead, she was now not his girlfriend - he merely wished/imagined her to be. The story would follow his attempts to make impressive romantic gestures towards her, but they kept going wrong. The film would end with her rejecting him, making him dreadfully upset until he saw another pretty girl to direct his advances towards.
I agreed to go home and draw up a screenplay draft, as well as a character development sheet.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)